Lub tswv yim ntawm kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug tsis yog tshiab (saib 'ntawm koj, Romeo thiab Juliet). Tab sis txij li Shakespeare lub hnub, neurologists tau tshawb pom ntau txog qhov kev hlub ua rau peb lub hlwb nyob rau theem lom. Tam sim no peb paub tias cov tshuaj hormones thiab tshuaj muaj feem cuam tshuam rau peb qhov kev txiav txim siab thiab kev txhais cov xwm txheej. Peb tau txias categorized kev hlub rau hauv tej theem, hom thiab kev sib txuas lus style. Txawm li cas los xij, tseem muaj qee yam tsis txaus ntseeg txog kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug, uas yog vim li cas 56 feem pua ntawm cov neeg Asmeskas ntseeg nws. Yog li, dab tsi yog txoj kev xav ntawd—thiab yog kev hlub thaum xub pom tiag?
Gabrielle Usatynski, MA, tus kws pab tswv yim muaj ntawv tso cai thiab tus sau phau ntawv tom ntej, Lub hwj chim Couple Formula , hais tias, lo lus nug ntawm seb puas los yog tsis hlub thaum xub thawj pom yog tiag nyob ntawm seb peb txhais li cas los ntawm lo lus 'tiag.' Yog lo lus nug yog, 'Peb puas poob rau hauv kev hlub thaum xub thawj pom?' lo lus teb yog yog. Yog tias lo lus nug yog, 'Puas yog kev hlub ntawm qhov chaw nyiam thawj zaug?' Zoo, qhov ntawd nyob ntawm seb koj txhais lo lus 'kev hlub.'
Txhua tus neeg txhais lus yuav txawv, yog li xav txog tias thaum koj nyeem tag nrho txog qhov xav tsis thoob uas yog kev hlub thaum xub thawj pom.
Kev ntshaw, evolution thiab thawj impressions
Kev tshawb fawb thiab vim li cas qhia peb kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug yog qhov tseeb kev ntshaw thaum pom thawj zaug . Tsis muaj txoj kev hlub-tsawg kawg yog kev sib raug zoo, tsis muaj kev cia siab, kev hlub uas muaj peev xwm tshwm sim ntawm ob tus neeg uas tsis tau ntsib lossis hais lus rau ib leeg. Thov txim, Romeo.
ntau hom pasta npe
Txawm li cas los xij! Thawj impressions yog incredibly haib thiab tiag tiag kev. Peb lub hlwb siv li ntawm ib feem kaum ntawm ib ob thiab ib nrab feeb tsim kom muaj thawj qhov kev xav. Princeton University's Alexander Todorov qhia rau BBC tias nyob rau lub sijhawm luv luv, peb txiav txim siab seb ib tus neeg puas txaus nyiam, txhim khu kev qha thiab evolutionarily dominant. Ned Presnall, LCSW thiab lees paub hauv tebchaws tus kws kho mob hlwb , categorizes lub caij no raws li ib feem ntawm txoj kev mus kom ze-kev zam kev tsis sib haum xeeb.
Raws li tib neeg, peb tau hloov zuj zus mus sai sai thaum ib yam khoom ntawm kev muaj sia nyob siab hla peb txoj kev. Presnall hais tias cov khub niam txiv uas xav tau yog [tseem ceeb] rau peb kom ua tiav ntawm peb txoj cai caj ces, hais tias Presnall. Thaum koj pom ib tus neeg uas ua rau koj ntsib 'kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug,' koj lub hlwb tau txheeb xyuas lawv tias yog ib qho kev pab cuam uas tseem ceeb heev rau kev ruaj ntseg yug thiab ciaj sia ntawm cov me nyuam.
Qhov tseeb, peb pom ib tus khub muaj peev xwm zoo li tus neeg sib tw sib tw rau kev yug me nyuam, peb ntshaw tom qab lawv, peb xav tias nws yog kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug, yog li peb mus ze lawv. Qhov teeb meem nkaus xwb? Xib fwb Todorov hais tias tib neeg nyiam lo rau thawj qhov kev xav txawm tias tom qab lub sijhawm dhau los lossis peb kawm cov ntaub ntawv tshiab, tsis sib haum xeeb. Qhov no yog hu ua halo effect.
Dab tsi yog 'halo effect'?
Thaum tib neeg sib tham txog kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug, feem ntau yog hais txog dab tsi yog qhov kev sib txuas ntawm lub cev tam sim ntawd, hais tias Marisa T. Cohen , PhD. Vim muaj cov nyhuv halo, peb yuav infer tej yam txog tib neeg raws li qhov pib xav. Vim tias ib tug neeg zoo li ntxim nyiam rau peb, nws cuam tshuam li cas peb pom lawv cov cwj pwm. Lawv yog cov zoo-zoo, yog li lawv kuj yuav tsum funny thiab ntse thiab nplua nuj thiab txias.
Lub hlwb hauv kev hlub
Dr. Helen Fisher thiab nws pab neeg ntawm cov kws tshawb fawb ntawm Rutgers University liam lub hlwb rau cov nyhuv halo-thiab ntau dua. Lawv hais tias peb hom kev hlub yog kev ntshaw, attraction thiab txuas . Kev ntshaw yog feem ntau yog thawj theem thiab ib qho kev sib raug zoo nrog kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug. Thaum peb ntshaw tom qab ib tug neeg, peb lub hlwb qhia peb lub cev xeeb tub los tsim cov testosterone ntxiv thiab estrogen. Ntxiv dua thiab, evolutionaryly, peb lub cev xav tias nws yog lub sij hawm los tsim dua tshiab. Peb tab tom laser tsom mus kom ze thiab ruaj ntseg tus khub.
tshuaj hauv tsev rau lub ntsej muag tshem tawm
Kev nyiam yog tom ntej no. Fueled los ntawm dopamine, ib qho khoom plig khoom plig ncaj qha cuam tshuam nrog kev quav tshuaj, thiab norepinephrine, kev sib ntaus lossis kev sib ntaus sib tua, kev nyiam ua tus cwj pwm ntawm honeymoon theem ntawm kev sib raug zoo. Interestingly, kev hlub nyob rau theem no tuaj yeem txo peb cov qib serotonin, uas ua rau muaj kev tshaib plab thiab kev xav loj dua.
Koj limbic system (qhov 'xav tau' ib feem ntawm koj lub hlwb) ncaws tawm, thiab koj lub cortex prefrontal (qhov kev txiav txim siab ntawm koj lub hlwb) siv lub rooj zaum rov qab, Presnall hais txog cov theem pib no.
Cov kev xav-zoo, poob-txhua yam-rau-ua-nrog-lawv cov tshuaj hormones ntxias peb peb tab tom ntsib kev hlub tiag. Technically, peb yog! Cov tshuaj hormones thiab cov kev xav uas lawv tsim muaj tiag. Tab sis kev hlub nyob mus ib txhis tsis tshwm sim mus txog rau theem kev sib txuas. Tom qab peb tau paub txog tus khub hauv lub sijhawm ntev dua, peb pom tias kev ntshaw tau loj hlob mus rau qhov txuas.
Thaum lub sij hawm txuas, peb lub hlwb tsim ntau oxytocin, ib qho kev sib txuas ntawm cov tshuaj hormones uas tseem tso tawm thaum yug menyuam thiab pub niam mis. (Nws tau raug hu ua cuddle hormone, uas yog ntxim hlub AF.)
Kawm txog kev hlub thaum xub thawj pom
Tsis tau muaj ntau qhov kev tshawb fawb ua tiav ntawm qhov tshwm sim ntawm kev hlub thaum xub thawj pom. Cov uas muaj nyob ua ke tsom hnyav rau kev sib raug zoo ntawm kev sib deev thiab poj niam txiv neej lub luag haujlwm. Yog li ntawd, noj cov nram qab no nrog ib tug grain ntawm ntsev.
Txoj kev tshawb fawb feem ntau yog los ntawm University of Groningen hauv Netherlands. Tus kws tshawb fawb Florian Zsok thiab nws pab neeg pom kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug tsis tshwm sim ntau zaus . Thaum nws tshwm sim hauv lawv txoj kev tshawb fawb, nws tau ua raws li kev nyiam ntawm lub cev. Qhov no txhawb cov kev xav hais tias peb tab tom ntsib tiag tiag kev ntshaw thaum xub thawj pom.
Txawm hais tias ntau dua ib nrab ntawm cov neeg koom hauv Zsok txoj kev tshawb fawb pom tias yog poj niam, cov txiv neej-cov neeg koom nrog muaj feem yuav tshaj tawm txog kev hlub thaum xub thawj pom. Txawm li ntawd los, Zsok thiab nws pab neeg tau sau cov xwm txheej no raws li qhov tsis txaus ntseeg.
Tej zaum qhov kev nthuav dav tshaj plaws los tawm ntawm Zsok txoj kev tshawb fawb yog tsis muaj qhov xwm txheej ntawm kev sib raug zoo ntawm kev hlub thaum xub thawj pom. Tsis muaj. Uas ua rau nws muaj feem ntau tias kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug yog ib qho kev paub ntawm tus kheej, nyob ib leeg.
uas mehendi zoo rau cov plaub hau
Tam sim no, qhov ntawd tsis tau txhais hais tias nws tseem tsis tuaj yeem tshwm sim.
Cov cim qhia tias nws yuav yog kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug
Cov khub niam txiv uas hais tias lawv poob rau hauv kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug tuaj yeem rov qab siv daim ntawv lo rau lawv lub rooj sib tham thawj zaug. Tom qab lawv tau tsiv mus rau yav dhau los kev ntshaw thiab kev nyiam thiab kev sib txuas, lawv yuav rov qab zoo siab rau ntawm lawv txoj kev sib raug zoo thiab xav tias, Peb paub tam sim no yog nws! Yog tias koj xav paub seb koj puas tab tom ntsib kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug, xav txog cov cim hauv qab no.
1. Koj xav paub ntau ntxiv
Ib qho zoo nkauj takeaway los ntawm Zsok txoj kev kawm yog tias ntsib kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug tsuas yog ib qho kev xav tau ceev kom paub ntau ntxiv txog tus neeg txawv txawv zoo meej. Nws yog qhov kev xav ntawm kev qhib rau kev muaj peev xwm tsis kawg nrog lwm tus tib neeg - uas yog qhov zoo nkauj heev. Indulge uas instinct tab sis ceev faj txog cov nyhuv halo.
2. Kev sib cuag qhov muag tsis tu ncua
Txij li kev sib hlub sib hlub thaum xub thawj pom yog qhov tsis tshua muaj ntau dua li qhov kev tshwm sim ntawm koj tus kheej, ua tib zoo mloog yog tias koj txuas ntxiv ua qhov muag nrog tib neeg nyob rau yav tsaus ntuj. Direct eye contact yog incredibly haib. Kev tshawb fawb qhia peb lub hlwb ua tau mus nce me ntsis thaum lub qhov muag pom vim peb tab tom paub tias muaj ib tus neeg paub qab hau, xav txog tom qab lub qhov muag. Yog tias koj tsis tuaj yeem khaws koj ob lub qhov muag ntawm ib leeg lub hlwb, nws tsim nyog tshawb xyuas.
3. Kev ntshaw yog nrog kev nplij siab
Yog tias peb nyiam qhov peb pom, peb yuav hnov zoo siab ntawm kev nplij siab, xav paub thiab muaj kev cia siab, hais tias Donna Novak, tus kws kho puas siab puas ntsws muaj ntawv tso cai ntawm Simi Psychological Group . Nws muaj peev xwm ntseeg tau tias cov kev xav no yog kev hlub, raws li ib tug neeg tsuas yog xav tsis thoob ntawm qhov lawv tau ua tim khawv. Cia siab rau koj lub plab yog tias nws xa cov cim ntawm kev ntshaw thiab kev cia siab.
Cov cim qhia tias nws yuav tsis yog kev hlub thaum pom thawj zaug
Muaj ntau yam tshwm sim hauv koj lub hlwb twb nyob rau ib hnub ib txwm, yog li muab koj tus kheej so thaum koj ntsib nrog ib tus khub uas muaj peev xwm. Koj cov hlab ntsha thiab cov kab mob endocrine yuav haywire, thiab koj yuav tsum tau ua tsis ncaj ncees lawm txhua lub sijhawm. Tej zaum nws yuav tsis hlub thaum xub pom yog tias…
1. Nws dhau los sai li sai tau thaum nws pib
home face packs rau glowing ntawm daim tawv nqaij
Yog tias tsis muaj lub siab xav paub ntxiv thiab koj qhov kev nyiam ntawm lub cev rau tus neeg hauv nqe lus nug yuav ploj mus sai li sai tau thaum ib tus neeg tshiab taug kev, nws yuav tsis hlub thaum xub thawj pom.
2. Koj tab tom npaj sai dhau
yuav ua li cas kom tsis txhob tsaus voj voog nyob ib ncig ntawm lub qhov muag
Dr. Britney Blair, uas yog pawg thawj coj saib xyuas kev sib deev thiab yog Tus Thawj Saib Xyuas Kev Tshawb Fawb ntawm lub app kev nyab xeeb ntawm kev sib deev Tus hlub , ceeb toom tawm tsam cia tus kheej cov lus piav qhia coj mus rau hauv chav haujlwm chemistry.
Yog tias peb muab cov lus piav qhia rau qhov kev tawg neurochemical no ('nws tsuas yog ib qho rau kuv ...') peb tuaj yeem ua rau muaj kev cuam tshuam ntawm cov txheej txheem neurochemical no, kom zoo dua lossis phem dua. Yeej, tsis txhob sau RomCom ua ntej koj tau ntsib txoj kev hlub.
3. Koj lub cev lus tsis pom zoo rau koj
Koj tuaj yeem ntsib cov qauv zoo nkauj tshaj plaws uas koj tau ntsib, tab sis yog tias koj lub plab nruj lossis koj pom koj tus kheej hla koj txhais tes thiab tso koj tus kheej tawm ntawm lawv, mloog cov cim qhia. Ib yam dab tsi tawm. Koj tsis tas yuav tos ib puag ncig kom paub seb nws yog dab tsi yog tias koj tsis xav tau. Dr. Laura Louis, tus kws kho mob muaj ntawv tso cai thiab tus tswv ntawm Atlanta Couple Therapy , tawm tswv yim nrhiav cov cim qhia hauv lwm tus neeg, ib yam nkaus. Nws hais tias yooj yim ntawm kev hais lus thiab lub cev lus yog ob qho tib si hauv thawj qhov kev xav, nws hais. Yog tias koj thawj zaug ntsib ib tus neeg uas tsis zoo li xav tham nrog koj (piv txwv li txhais caj npab hla, saib deb, thiab lwm yam) nws tuaj yeem raug tso tawm tiag tiag.
Thaum tsis ntseeg, muab sijhawm rau nws. Kev hlub thaum xub thawj pom yog qhov kev xav zoo siab, romantic, tab sis yeej tsis yog tib txoj hauv kev kom tau raws li tus khub ntawm koj txoj kev npau suav. Tsuas nug Juliet.
